Addiction

How do I know where to begin?

Did this all start because I dared to sin?

Did it all start when I was very young?

With the slaps and the belt and a vicious tongue?

 Was it when I was left that time naked in the shed?

Or was it that time I got punched in the head?

So many pictures run through my mind,

Trying to find that answer but never seem to find.

 Did it begin when I was offered my first drink?

You had a choice I was told by my shrink!

You could have refused and walked away,

And you wouldn’t be in this mess today!

 Guilt and shame I carry with me,

Emotional pain I cry out to thee.

Just take it away, I can’t stand it anymore!

I have lost my choice I bang on the door.

 One more hit, one more high,

Anything to dull the pain I hear myself cry.

I’ve lost my choice, I need it again,

Man the pain and the shame, and it’s me they all blame.

 No one understands the torment in my head,

The days I have slept wet through in my bed.

Longing to die, but so wanting to live,

So on my knees my life to the Lord I give.

 The rush I get is like no other before,

A smile on my face as I hit the floor.

 I suddenly know I am not alone, I am loved, and I am secure.

 It’s a feeling I can’t explain but I no one thing is for sure; there is no more fear and no more pain.

 Written by: Dawn VanSice

Inspired by: The Holy Spirit